Top Cereals for July, 2011

The Top 4 as of July, 2011.

1. Cocoa Pebbles

a. Excellent Chocolate Taste.

b. Fred shows off his biceps while also telling you "Rocks Your Whole Mouth". Well conceived, Fred.

c. Chocolate Milk Bonus post-consumption.

d. If you have a disdain for chocolate in your cereal in the morning, move to Florida and grow old.

2. Oh!s

a. Who knew graham crackers were this crunchy in milk (take note Golden Grahams).

b. Underrated compatriot of the Quaker Oats Stable.

c. Why #2? Quaker Oats has a history of cutting my mouth with its delicious cereal family.

3. Honey-Comb

a. Classically good.

b. Apparently a great source of Vitamin D. But who gives a rip? (Oh yeah, dumb parents).

c. Why #3? This is the Jeff Blauser of cereals. You know exactly what you are going to get every time you open the box. Good taste, good to the last bite, but will never wow you.

4. Kellogg's Corn Pops

a. "Gotta have my pops" sounds eerily close to a drug addiction that has yet to be concocted by smart people that use drugs.

b. Easily better in first to last bite and will not cut your mouth like its other Kellogg's Brethren (I'm looking at you Froot Loops and Apple Jacks).

c. Why #4? You can't leave off a Kellogg's brand cereal, ever. This is also a classic staple that is the Rebound Cereal. You've had a great run with a hottie (I'm looking at you Trix), but you know something is off after 3 boxes. Corn Pops to the rescue.

Things to keep in mind....

I've been having a really tough time finding the General Mills Monster Family of Cereals (Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Frankenberry). If those can make their way back into my rotation, this could make list look very interesting (same rules apply to Marshmallow Treats Cereal from Kellogg's).

The Bottom 4 (for obvious reasons)

35. Frosted Cheerios

36. Crunch Berries

37. Frosted Flakes

38. Cocoa Krispies (nobody wants your fucking Cocoa Krispies, Snap, Crackle, and Pop).

Thirty-Eight is an arbitrary number. This is subject to change. I'm just getting started. Check back tomorrow for My July Pizza Rankings.